By Khyla
Lach
Growing up half
Cambodian half white I was never exposed to the Cambodian language, my father
worked most of the day and when he wasn’t, he was sleeping for work. My mom and
our babysitters only spoke English and due to that my sister and I only grew up
speaking English, our dad never taught us. There were incidents throughout my
life that made me embarrassed of being Asian so I wouldn’t eat the food, listen
to the music, and if my father did somehow say something to me in Khmer, I
would ignore it until he said it in English (even if I knew what he was
saying). I only knew 2 words in Khmer at the time, “hi” and “how are you”. When
I was about 12, I wanted to be a ballerina but it was too expensive so my mom
had signed me up for the Khmer dance. Since I was a kid, she wanted me to be
exposed to the culture and this was her way of doing it.
At the time I didn’t
know it would be different from regular ballet but on my first day there I knew it
was nothing similar. For the first time, I felt out of place for not knowing the
language, but surprisingly enough I wanted to go back. For months I had grown
to really like dance, I met people who were like me, and I found dancing fun
and was interested in making up for a lost time. But it always made me and my
teachers frustrated that the language barrier was prevalent.
Unlike every other
student, I had the worst communication skills and couldn’t understand things
that were meant to correct me. And my teachers would get annoyed that I
couldn’t understand and follow their instructions. So, throughout the years I
tried to figure out on my own what they were saying and learning basic
everyday words. Being a dance didn’t just teach me the language but it also
taught me that dance itself ties into the everyday language, and tells the
stories of Khmer people, Khmer culture, and Khmer history. Through Khmer dance, we express stories with every body movement, with our hands, fingers, feet,
head, and facial expressions. There are thousands of movements and stories that
even master teachers don't know all and were mostly lost during the war.
Dancers are corrected and perfected to make sure we tell the story right, and
like any story, other troupes might have slight differences but they generally
should be the same. Shows are placed which can be almost 2 hours long and take
about half a year to train for to tell a big story such as battles between
Gods, folk dances that describe Khmer life, etc. Being a dancer for 6 years I
was exposed more than ever to the culture. I picked up way more than I ever had
on the language, it's still awful but better than before. I learned basic words
like “how old are you”, water, food, different types of meat, counting to 20,
types of clothes, hair, animals, random words that I picked up through
conversation. I had tried foods I wouldn’t have and liked, and I had stopped
being ashamed of my culture.
I became really
fascinated with the culture because unlike many it is one that isn’t complete.
I felt interested in knowing about these stories and legends because I know not
many people have, and I liked learning the basic things like Khmer mannerisms
or do’s and don'ts to feel like I was making up for the lost time. But around me as
I got older, I realized how strange a lot of it was to other people, even other
Cambodian people. I was so used to the people I danced with but it was weird to
me that full Cambodian people didn’t know the language (sometimes less than
me), didn’t know the mannerisms, didn’t know the culture, didn’t like the
food.
I’ve realized that it's
not only the language that is lost it is the whole culture, but the new generation has also mainly lost the ability to hold onto the Khmer language, and now it creates
a barrier between the Khmer people who don’t speak English and their kids who
don’t speak Khmer. And without the language it's incredibly hard to actually
know the culture, to learn about the history or anything else. And eventually, the culture will come to an end if it isn’t passed down, it will be like
Cambodian dance where only a handful knows a small portion of the history and
meanings behind it. Learning the Khmer language is the first step to learning
the rich Khmer history has to offer, it opens up new doors and opportunities.
Not only learning about the Khmer culture but also helps in day-to-day life, to
get a job (they like if you’re bilingual), translating, understanding music,
can read articles in Khmer, have conversations with loved ones (who speak
Khmer), etc. As tough as it is there is nothing bad to gain from learning the
language if you really have the time and effort. It is important to keep our
language, dance, and culture alive to pass it down from generation to
generation so it's not lost.