I am today

By Sopeeda Suy  

         

Every kid is going to grow up and face reality, hardships and problems that will be hard for them to overcome. When I was in middle school I did not know how my future would turn out. I had no idea what I would do in the future and what my goals were. Every day I just lived it not knowing what my path in life will be. I was bullied and it made me feel like I was worthless. There were many times I felt like crying and wanted to be cool and popular like my other classmates.

            At the age of twelve and thirteen I started feeling embarrassed of my culture and traditions. Money was scarce back then especially when I attended a private middle school. I was among the small amount of Asian students that attended the school and I felt like I was left out. All the white students were spoiled and wore expensive clothes that made me envy them. I wanted to be just like them but, I knew that can’t be possible because I should learn to accept who I am and love who I am. I wanted to be Americanized and forget about my ethnic background. I faced a lot of peer pressure and discrimination of my race. Because of that, I wanted to become a different person and forget about my culture and traditions. But then, the more I hear my classmates making fun of Asian people, I start realizing that I should not let other people put me down. Those people who are judgmental and arrogant aren’t worth socializing with.

            I do not blame myself for not being strong in the past because I was just a kid that is still learning and it was one of my weaknesses that shaped who I am today. Even though I wasn’t as strong as my other classmates but the most important point in my life is that I learned and experienced it. Everyone will face many difficulties at some point in life and I faced most of it in middle school.

            My parents have helped me along the way as I grew up. They taught me to stop feeling embarrassed and to not care what other people think of me. Life isn’t about pleasing others, it’s about your own happiness and joy. It doesn’t matter what other people think of me because I know who I am and I don’t need to prove it to anyone.

            My journey through middle school and high school was very difficult but I made it through. I am proud of who I am and I will not let anyone bring me down. Not only that, I learned to appreciate what I have and stop comparing myself to others. Everyone’s life is different; we are all following our own road. The person I was in the past is not the same person I am today. I have experienced being hurt, fear, and sadness.  I fought to become the grown woman I am today and I know that every day I will still keep learning.