Daddy

By Lyanna J.

            I first found out I was Cambodian in 2011. I was as senior in high school. It was either my aunt or my cousin that told me. It was also during that same time that I found out who my dad was. I never knew his name or anything about him. My mom had been with her husband since before I was 5. I knew he was not my dad. He is white. My mom never wanted to talk about who my dad was. Over the course of my childhood I had asked her who he was and what I was. She would never tell me. So when I became a rebellious teenager, I found out everything.

            One time around 2012 I was on Facebook and saw I had a friend request from Vy Prak. I knew that he must be my uncle because he had the same last name as my dad. I accepted the friend request and went through his friends list. Then I found my dad’s Facebook. I saw that his cover photo was a picture of me. It was a recent picture he had taken from my Facebook account. I was so mad. Here this stranger was stealing pictures of me and I had no idea who he was. I knew he was my dad, but that does not change the fact that he was a complete stranger to me. I did not know what kind of person he was or what happened between him and my mom. Nobody would tell me. I was talking to him on Facebook and was angry with him for taking my pictures without me knowing. Eventually my dad started to tell me his side of the story.

            He had told me one day, when I was a baby, him and my mother were in the park fighting. He had told me he was holding me. He had said my mother fell and he tripped over her. He said tripping over her was how she got the foot print in her face.

            My mother had told me that I was in the baby carriage. I was rolling down the hill while her and my dad were fighting. My aunt had to stop me from rolling down the hill and into the street. She said my uncle Vy was there with some other people and they were just watching everything. My dad was beating up my mom and when she ended up on the ground he stomped on her face. Which is how she got the footprint in her face. A cop drove up on to the grass, in the park, and he hit my dad with the police car to get him to stop. They had said my dad was very drunk and he was on drugs. My dad went to jail for 7 years. I was told that right before this fight, my dad was released from jail. He was let out of jail because they said he was not a danger, but obviously he was since he went and beat up my mom. The jail he went to was in Texas. I heard the prisons over there are really bad.

            When my mom and dad were together he would steal from her. He would take her food stamps and sell them for money. He would also take her money. He was addicted to drugs. He also stole from his own mother. My aunts told me that when she was pregnant with me they would never let her go walking around outside alone. They did not want my dad to do something bad to her.

            After my dad got out of jail he met Mayra. She is my sister’s mom. She was 15 when she was with my dad. He did not know she was under age. She looked older for her age. My sister is the same way. She is 13, but she looks 16. Mayra is Puerto Rican and Dominican. My dad was abusive with Mayra as well.

            One day in 2012 I went to the flea market with my aunt Alicia, my cousins, and my brothers and sister. On this day we were walking around looking at stuff. Then Alicia said to me “Lyanna your dad just walked by.” I said what and when I turned he was there with Vy, my cousin Zada, my sister Savunny, and my grandmother. I had never met any of these people before this moment. Not counting when I was a baby. It was really awkward. I did not know what to say. We were all standing around and they asked me how I was doing. Everyone started crying and hugging me. It was really weird. So after this encounter my dad gave me money and we went our separate ways.

            When I got home to my mom’s house I did not plan on telling her I saw him, but my brother or sister told her. I knew it was a sore subject for her and she did not like to talk about him. She asked me what had happened, even though she already knew. I told her everything. I told her about how I found him on Facebook and I told her what he told me that happened that day in the park. She told me her story. I could tell she was not happy.

            During May of 2012 I had moved out of my mom’s house and in with my friend. During this time I was talking to my dad more. I went to my grandmother’s house because my dad’s sister Linda was having a party for my cousin Jaden. He was turning 2 I think. I spent time with my sister Savunny. It was really weird finding out I had another sister. She is family, but she is also a stranger. I did not know how to act around all these new people. It was really overwhelming.

            My dad was living with a woman during this time. I do not remember her name. I know that they were together for 5 years. They never went out together or talked to each other. They were more like roommates. They did not act like a couple. They broke up and she moved to Rhode Island. My dad was looking for a new apartment.

            I moved out of my friend’s house and in with my grandmother. She did not speak any English. She could only ask if I wanted to eat. While I lived with her I spent a lot of time with Linda. We went out together all the time. She is only about 2 years older than me. We would always go party with her friends. My grandmother would always stay home and take care of Jaden.

            After living there for a few weeks, I moved in with my dad’s girlfriend. Linda did not like her. She said Kianni was a gold digger. Kianni had her own money though. Well from what I saw. Kianni was Cambodian and Vietnamese. She was very nice. She has a daughter named Kianna. When I met Kianni she was introduced to me as Thida. Her daughter was nicknamed Yana. Her daughter was 9. She would always stay right by my side from the moment I moved in with them. I think her daughter was lonely. Thida always went out and she always traveled. She was hardly ever home. She did work a lot too.

            The first time I ever went to a bar was with Thida. I was 18. She knew the bouncer and that is how I got in. He did not even check my ID. All guys liked Thida. My dad did not know she took me to a bar. They had a fight and she did not tell him where we were going. My dad seemed to get mad at her a lot. I do not know why. I liked her. I had become friends with her. I only heard that everyone thinks she is a bad influence. One time when her and my dad were fighting, she told him she was going to take me to Cambodia and have me marry someone. He got really mad at that and told her not to. It was not all bad though. There were times when they got along.

            In July of 2012 Thida and Yana were going to Cambodia. Also my dad found an apartment. I moved in with my dad. Living with my dad was not very good. I missed Thida and Yana. During this month my dad was on disability because he had gotten in a car accident and hurt his back. He could not go to work. I was always using his car and going out because he never went anywhere. I would go to my friends’ houses. Sometimes I would take my sister and cousin to Alicia’s house to swim in her pool. It was weird having Savunny and Zada by my side at all times. I did not like it. I was not used to being followed around all the time. They would sleep with me in my room. I used to share a room with my sister Helen when I lived at my mom’s house, but that was different because I grew up with Helen. Savunny and Zada did not grow up with me. It was fun hanging out with them though, even though they were both pretty young.

            When I lived with my dad we used to fight a lot. Whenever he got mad at me he would turn off my phone. I would yell at him because I hated not having a phone. I told him I can afford to pay my own phone. It was his idea to put me on his phone plan. I was paying for my own phone before this. Then one time we got in a bad fight and he had turned off my phone and I was trying to leave the apartment, but he would not let me. I told him I just wanted to leave and he kept asking, “Where do you think you are going?” I was being really mean. I said, “What are you going to hit me?” and I said I would call the cops on him. After all the things I was saying my dad started to cry. We amends after fighting and he turned my phone back on. It was not long after this though that we had another fight. I do not remember what caused the last one, but my dad blamed me for the breakup between him and that lady he lived with for 5 years. He also blamed the car accident on me. Even though I was not even there. He said he did not care about me or love me. This was all over the phone. He was at work during this. So while he was at work I packed all my things. I called Mayra and she picked me up. She and Savunny helped me move. I moved to Melrose, in with my godmother.

            After I had moved Linda and Vy were calling me asking me what happened. I told them everything and they wanted me to let my dad cool down and give him another chance. I did not. I did not talk to him for a few years. My dad tried telling Thida not to talk to me anymore. She did not listen to him though. We were still friends. We went to California together. I still hung out with her when I could. I was working a lot during this time.

            When I moved in with my grandmother I started talking to my dad again. He was so sorry for the way that he acted and the things he said. I saw him a few times last year. Then we got in a fight and he was flipping out at me for no reason. Then I stopped talking to him. During this year was when I started talking to my dad again for the last time. I still talk to my dad. I know he is a hard person to get along with, but he is still my dad. Even though he had given up custody of me when I was in the third grade. He signed over all his rights. He is still my dad though. I visit him, Vy, my grandmother and I sometimes see Linda. I will be seeing more of them this summer.

            I know my dad probably acts the way he does because of his past. He was in the Khmer Rouge when he was 7 years old. Today he was telling me about when he was in a refugee camp in Thailand. When they were being disciplined in school they would make him kneel on jack fruit. The skin of jack fruit is very sharp. Also the people at the school would hit my dad with a stick. Nobody should have to deal with this torture. It is inhumane.

            I have been giving my dad a chance because he has been through so much since he was a young boy. We only have one life to live. Before we know it, it will all be over. I need to spend as much time as I can with my family. All the time and years we have wasted we will never get back. We have to live each day like it is our last. Spending time with family is very important. There is no need to waste time on being angry or waste time fighting. Whatever we say could be the last words we have.

Angkor Wat

By Vanntha Sann

This had been an interesting week. I had been reading a lot about my mother homeland, Cambodia. I am fascinated with Angkor Wat, especially the level of detail, and how it was built. Angkor Wat is the most iconic temple in Cambodia. It was voted the world’s number 1 sight and it is understandably high on the list for many travelers by Lonely Planet. It’s definitely on my top 10 list of places to visit. My younger sister visited Cambodia last year, and she fell in love with Angkor Wat. I will make it my goal to visit Cambodia in 2020.

According to Lonely Planet Angkor Wat was built by Suryavarman II-the earthy representation of Mt Meru, the Mt Olympus of the Hindu faith and the abode of ancient gods. “The Cambodian god-kings of old each strove to better their ancestors’ structures in size, scale and symmetry, culminating in what is believed to be the world’s largest religious building.”(Lonely Planet). The temple is a national pride of Cambodia; it’s our heart and soul.

The level of detail of the temple is unbelievable.  My sister was really impressed by the magnificence and the decorative embellishments. She also mentioned the historical carving on the wall. “Stretching around the outside of the central temple complex is an 800m-long series of intricate and astonishing bas-reliefs – carving depicting historical events and stories from mythology.”(Lonely Planet) The Temple is well-known for the 3000 beguiling apsaras carved into its walls. Each of them is distinctive, and there are 37 different hairstyles.

According to Lonely Planet, you’ll find a statue of Vishun when you walk the causeway to the main entrance and through the courtyards to the final main tower. “Vishnu is a metaphorically travelling back to the first age of the creation of the universe.”(Lonely Planet) It really makes you wonder how Angkor Wat was built.

The temple was built by using sandstone blocks that was extracted from the holy mountain of Phnom Kulen and floated down the Siem Reap River on rafts. “According to inscriptions, the construction of Angkor Wat involved 300,000 workers and 6000 elephants, yet it was still not fully completed.”(Lonely Planet) That’s unbelievable! I still can’t get my head wrap around 6000 elephants. I know that kind of operation require a lot of workers but 6000 elephants? I wish I can see this massive construction of Angkor Wat in action because it’s pure genius.

I learned so much about Angkor Wat by reading the article from Lonely Planet. The more I read about this iconic temple the more I want to see it in person.  My sister said it was a once in a life time trip and that she feels really lucky to see it in person. She also said, “Words and pictures will not justify the beauty of Angkor Wat”. I can’t wait to plan this trip of a lifetime. 

  

Living in America

By Sopeeda Suy

             

As a Cambodian girl born and raised in America I faced many obstacles. When you are born in America people expect a lot from you.  There will be many people who is going to put you down but everyone has their strengths and weaknesses so it doesn’t matter from what place you come from. But I do believe wherever place you are born in, it is good to try your best to speak their language so you can communicate with people living there. It will also help you to go to school and find a job. Growing up I noticed that other people of a different race knew how to speak, read, and write in their own language. Because of that it made me aspire to do the same. I did not want to forget about where my family came from and my ethnicity. When I attended high school I seen many Cambodian students who emigrated from Cambodia. I envied them because I wanted to be able to read and write in Khmer just like them. After that, I decided to take a Khmer class for all four years that I have attended high school and was able to be proficient in it. I wanted to prove to everyone that even though I am a Cambodian girl born in America that I can also speak my own language and not forget about where my parents and ancestors came from. Khmer was not my first language and many Cambodians who emigrated from Cambodia and already knew the language think that I was clueless about my own country. They think I only embrace other people’s cultures other than my own and do not consider myself as a Cambodian. Many whisper to each other saying that Cambodian children born in America these days don’t know anything. But they do not know that I could understand what they are saying. Although, I understand why they are thinking this way because there are many Cambodian people born in America who do not consider themselves as a Cambodian and do not value our culture. But I am the many who actually appreciates where I came from as well as wanting to learn about Cambodian culture and traditions.  It hurts for me to hear that they think that Cambodians born in the United States weren’t raised the right way. I know before I was not good at speaking in Khmer but at least I tried my very best until I could finally read in Khmer. For the reason that I was born in the Unites States I wanted to try my best to be good at learning the English language. Because the place I live in requires learning and knowing English. Learning the English language opened doors for me to find a great career and become successful in America. When I graduate with my degree I want to represent myself as a successful Cambodian American woman.

I have always wanted to travel to Cambodia but I have not been able to go due to the struggles and money problems my family had to face ever since they immigrated to America. Living in America was very hard for my parents because they had to adapt to the environment and different cultures. They had to learn the English language so they can go to school and find a good job to pay off bills. I should have already traveled to Cambodia because there are so many years that I could have gone but everyone has their own timeline in life. Not only have I not traveled to Cambodia I still have yet to travel around the world. My parents had a well thought out timeline for our life living in America.  In order for us to travel they want to make sure that we have everything set. Within the years my parents have been working so much to save up money for our family to move to a better place. My father used to be a landlord and owned a 3 family apartment located in a busy neighborhood. They always had their mind not only on the present but also the future of our family. As the years go by my parents finally bought a single family home in a nice and peaceful neighborhood. Living in a single home for the beginning was also a struggle especially when salaries weren’t as high as it is today. We had to know when to spend and not to spend in order to save money for the future. These were some of the reasons why we weren’t able to travel because traveling is very expensive. We had other goals we wanted to achieve before we started traveling. From all the years that I lived with my parents I appreciate them for all the sacrifices and obstacles they withstood for me to become the person I am today. They did everything they can to be able to give their children a wonderful and bright future.

I will be graduating on May 26, 2016 with an associate’s degree in Business and then I will be transferring to a four-year university. My field of study is in Accounting and I plan to pursue a master’s degree so I can become a certified public accountant. Since I am the oldest child of my family I want to graduate and earn a degree as a gift to my parents.  

The Cambodian Dream

By Vothy Uy

            As a kid growing up I always dream of being in the NBA. I loved the game of basketball and everyday i would workout and practice just so i could be good enough to play one day. That was one of many dreams I had, but sometimes dreams don’t always workout in your favor. That was ok with me I grew to be only 5’9 and couldn’t make the basketball team in high school. I had to put basketball on hold for a while and chose to follow another dream I had which was music.

I love to sing and write music with my friends, I love it so much that I started recording actual songs and putting them out on the internet. Although I’ve only been making music for a year now I want to pursue it and be famous one day for the music I make. I feel like this is an outlet for me because it can open so many doors for me especially for my family. At a young age in my life my family weren’t really wealthy, it was a hard time for us trying to make ends meet. When my grandparents came to America from Cambodia, they came with nothing but themselves and their children.

My grandma has nine kids who she brought back to the states with her from Cambodia, they had a hard start when they got to the united states. When i was born they were at a decent level when it came to money. Something that I will always remember is all the stories my grandfather would tell me about the wars in Cambodia he was in. Those stories were amazing and ever since that I always wanted to visit Cambodia. Another dream I have is to give back to Cambodia. Even though i don’t know much about my heritage and there is so much to learn and know, I just want to show them that I care for them.

By that I mean when I am more successful I will want to build a school for them out there that teaches English and more. Being Cambodian and being around others showed me all the character our parents put in us, some parents came straight from Cambodia and some were born here in the states but that didn’t hide the glow that Cambodia had on them. We have so much pride and it’s amazing how we show it off and are so proud to be it. My dream is to just give back I don’t even want anything in return, so when I make it to where I want to be I will build a school in honor of my grandparents. Although dreams are hard to achieve i know that all the hard work and dedication will pull off and things will happen.

My first two dreams I talked about well only one of them won’t happen because it’s too late but with my music I will influence the people all over the world. Maybe I will have a concert in Cambodia too that’s how serious I am about this music thing. Another dream I have is to take my grandma and grandpa on vacation to Cambodia. I want to experience it with them because they know so much about it and it would be nice to bring them back to their homeland. Dreams are meant to be achieved and one day I will achieve these dreams, all the hard work and dedication that is put into the dream will show and it will happen. I hope that I make this dream come true and I won’t stop until they are met. This is the Cambodian Dream!