PRIDE

By Rhondyna Reth

 

I am what you call an American-born Cambodian. I am the third and youngest child out of my Khmer parents who are immigrants. Many Cambodians who are over the age of 40 and or have been born and raised there, have most likely experienced the tragedy of the Khmer Rouge. This includes my entire family, from my father’s side to my mother’s side. As a result of the Khmer Rouge, people who were educated were executed. This includes people who can read or write, musicians, artists, performers and so much more. Many Cambodians that have immigrated to America most likely cannot read or write Khmer such as my grandma. As a result, learning to do so is such a prideful thing as a Cambodian, especially one who wasn’t born in Cambodia.

Now as I grew older, I realized that I was lucky in so many ways. Compared to other Asian families, my parents were really lenient about what I did and what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to do something in regards to the arts, whether it be performing arts, creative arts, or anything of the sort. I wanted to pursue a job in which I can really enjoy what I want to do and get paid for it at the same time. When I questioned why my parents allowed me to do so, their response was quite simple. It was along the lines of “Because people like you were lost long ago in our country (Cambodia).” I soon figured out that my parents wanted me to rebuild the lost Khmer culture. This allowed me to think differently, in the shoes of my parents. I felt like I needed to do something to pay them back so decided to learn Khmer.

I decided to take up Khmer in High School. I talked to my parents about how often I spoke Khmer as a child and they said I used to speak it much more fluently up until I got to middle school. Now that I am writing this, I realize that I was actually in the ESL (English Second Language) program up until then, meaning that I fully focused on an English-speaking environment as soon as I entered middle school. I was fortunate enough to speak and understand Khmer as soon as I was born. My parents both speak fluent English but they always mix languages when speaking to my siblings and me at home. They only spoke to us in full English when we were in outside settings. My grandparents also only spoke Khmer so that was when I would only speak Khmer. After middle school, I noticed that my grammatical structure in Khmer was slowly deteriorating. Although others can still understand what my point was, it just was not grammatically correct. My pronunciation however did not change much which I am glad about. However, this did cause me to have a slight accent when speaking English but that does not cause a problem in my everyday life. I felt like learning to read and write Khmer would help me improve and try to understand my parents better and honestly it somewhat did.

Khmer class is not easy at all. The alphabet is way longer than the American alphabet. You have way more vowels and way more consonants. For example, English has 24 consonants while Khmer has 33. Khmer also has a category in which there are deep sounds that sound like “or”, and light sounds that sound like “aw”. These vowels also sound different when compared to certain consonants as they too have either a deep sound or a light sound. There are things such as independent vowels and other aspects as well. All in all, there is a lot to learn but if you take the time to learn it, it gets easier over time.

I definitely had a hard start. Learning a new language is a hard and new concept and it is different from classes such as math because you are basically starting from scratch once again. However, I am lucky as I am Cambodian myself so understanding it made it easier to learn and pronounce certain words. This does not mean that it is open for only Cambodians to learn. If you have the ambition and dedication, I’ll say go for it; learn Khmer.

After taking Khmer classes for about three years now, there was a lot I learned. There are a lot more vowels and consonants than I expected. They also sound quite similar to each other; some even sound exactly the same. Some words were also completely brand new to me. Learning to write the letters itself was a whole lesson in itself but now I find my Khmer handwriting to look better than my English handwriting as it looks more like curves and shapes. I am still struggling however with spelling words. Many things sound the same and or produce the same sound. Fortunately, I have parents who can read and write Khmer so I usually get help from them if I ask for assistance in my studies. I also recommended you study with a friend who can understand and or speak Khmer as having a primary source may help you in the long run.

Khmer also has an informal and formal structure of speech. In terms of English, things such as “Sir” and “Ma’am” are a part of a formal speech. Khmer has these as well but of course, different words are used in their place. My parents are workaholics so they were not home a lot when I was a child. I was raised partly by my great-grandma who is actually the wife of my great grandpa's brother. Although she is not blood-related, my family took her in. That being said, her personality is quite rough and she only spoke informal Khmer to me. This means I grew up learning the informal way of speaking Khmer. Till, this day, my parents correct me every now and then on how to speak Khmer in a proper and formal way but it is less of a problem now that I have taken classes.

 My parents are from Battambang which is sort of the more rural part of Cambodia. That being said, we have a different dialect and or way of speaking compared to the people in the city such as Phnom Penh. Taking Khmer classes made me realize there are so many ways of speaking Khmer. This was also extremely relevant when I went to Cambodia in the summer of 2017 in which I found myself somewhat lost in what people were saying although they were speaking the same language I could speak. Certain words are pronounced differently than how I would usually say them but both ways are correct. 

To sum it up, learning Khmer gave me a sense of hope and redemption. The fact that I, an American-born Cambodian teenager can read, write and speak Khmer just made me feel great. On top of that, I was one who was educated in things such as music and art. My parents made me realize that I was better than I thought myself out to be. They made me realize I could be a part of a generation in how Cambodia once was, one full of cultural individuality.