Living in a Khmer Krom Community

By Lam Te

            I am a Khmer Krom-American, but I never really knew what it meant and what to make of it. My parents exposed me to culture and what it was like to be Khmer Krom starting from when I was very young. When I was young, both my parents were very involved within the Khmer Krom community and I took in the experiences as a young child, as I had to follow them wherever they went. I never really understood the fight for this land that was lost to South Vietnam and the determination that settled into the hearts of the Khmer people who wished for Khmer Kampuchea Krom to return to Cambodia. My parents were both members of the Khmer Krom Federation (KKF) and attended meetings in Lowell, MA, New Jersey, as well as Washington, D.C. They greatly supported the movement and took part in any way that they could. They showed me what hard work and dedication was, despite hardships along the way.

            When I was 7, my parents started participating in the dragon boat racing that was held in Lowell, MA at the Asian Water Festival every August. Their team was the Khmer Krom team and all the Khmer Krom people within the community helped to support them with money for food, team shirts, as well as flags. The team started from the ground up and eventually was very successful. To practice, they practiced on a wooden log, and over time with fundraising and the success that they had with winning, they eventually could afford their own oars and their own fiberglass boats to practice with. After many wins, the team was able to go to places like Philadelphia, Florida, Washington, as well as Rome, Italy. I was always happy to go along for the trips, and it is always nice knowing that we had a very supportive community.

            I was 12 when I attended my first protest in Washington, D.C. The protest was to demand back land that was rightfully Cambodia’s. I still was unaware of what happened in history and what we were fighting for. I just did as everyone else did, held up signs and demanded freedom like everyone else. Now it made me realize how fortunate I am to be in this country, to be able to freely protest for what I believe in without being harmed or jailed. We should take advantage of being Americans and do whatever we can for our fellow Khmer people in other places that may not have as many freedoms or can be in grave danger for speaking out against their government.

            I am 21 now, and I have yet to figure out what I should do to give back to my community someday. My parents always told me that we need more educated Khmer Krom people to help and to make a difference. They have great faith that I could be one of them. After graduating from my 4-year university, I plan on pursing a career in the United States Air Force. After my service is over, I plan on using the connections that I obtain to give back to my community that took care of me somehow. With my experience, I can help to educate and liberate future generations.

            

The Misconception of Cambodian Americans

By Solomon Say 

​Throughout the many decades that Cambodians have been living on American soil, I feel like we have some sort of stigma that has the general population look at us like we’re on the low end of the Asian-race scale. I mean, how can we not? Throughout the brief history of gang violence in cities such as Lowell, Massachusetts and Long Beach, California, Cambodian involvement in gang culture has been rampant throughout most of the late 80s and 90s. The graduation rate for Cambodians isn’t all that high neither, with about 35 percent of Cambodian Americans dropping out of highschooland another 29 percent of Cambodians living under poverty.These statistics are staggering, making us the highest Asian ethnic group to live under such conditions. Why is this thecase? What is this type of stigma that we have created for our own people? The main cause of this problem is surely unheard of, but many would believe that our plight from the homeland has caused the older generation of Cambodian people to live under such psychological conditions as PTSD. With this type of condition haunting the minds of our most beloved family members, it can surely create a toll on the younger generation as well. However, the younger generation hasn’t even been able to erase this type of stigma that we have been living under for the past decade. Our young ones are busy running around the streets, creating more statistics for the Cambodian people as a whole. Many of times, people may even look at Cambodians as either “dirty” or “violent”. The history of Cambodia did not work for us to have these types of characteristics to our name. Cambodian history is filled with a vast line of a culture that is so rich, Cambodia was once considered the “Pearl of Southeast Asia”. However, it seems that Cambodian Americans of the younger generation are forgetting that aspect. I really don’t understand how a stigma can be implemented to a certain group of people,however I feel that with such a strong sense of ethnic pride, the stigma can be erased. 

​There is a lot that needs to be done in order for the Cambodian culture to instill itself as one of the most prominent Asian races. However, with the corruption that goes on within the country itself, any type of Western influences can potentially be alarming to government officials in Cambodia. Real fixings come from within the heart of an entity, and that particular entity is the country of Cambodia. In my personal opinion, I still believe that Cambodia is still in a healing process from the Khmer Rouge. So much happened within that particular time frame that, to this day the country of Cambodia is still trying to make amends for the people who were apart of it. However, the country of Cambodia is going through vast metropolis changes within its cities. Everything is becoming more modernized and people capturing the essence of its change. However, in the United States of America, people still look at the Cambodian population as a group of people who are lower than most. 

What does it mean to be Cambodian American? This has been a question that has been daunting within my mental for the past 10 years. What I think a Cambodian American is, is a person who was raised by Cambodian values and traditions and lives on American soil. If that’s the case, then I am a Cambodian American. However, I’ve meet some younger people who are Cambodian that have a hard time defining themselves as one. Sometimes, they just plainly define themselves as being Asian. This type of ignorance that exists within people of their own race has me growing tired. There has been times within the past that made me look at the younger generation of Cambodian Americans and I have not been fond of it. However, I feel like it’s up to the current generation and older ones to instill a greater knowledge of what it actually means to be Cambodian. To keep traditional values and be more educated on the current events that happen within the Motherland. Without that particular knowledge, how can Cambodians be apart of this “melting pot” that is the USA?  

Daddy

By Lyanna J.

            I first found out I was Cambodian in 2011. I was as senior in high school. It was either my aunt or my cousin that told me. It was also during that same time that I found out who my dad was. I never knew his name or anything about him. My mom had been with her husband since before I was 5. I knew he was not my dad. He is white. My mom never wanted to talk about who my dad was. Over the course of my childhood I had asked her who he was and what I was. She would never tell me. So when I became a rebellious teenager, I found out everything.

            One time around 2012 I was on Facebook and saw I had a friend request from Vy Prak. I knew that he must be my uncle because he had the same last name as my dad. I accepted the friend request and went through his friends list. Then I found my dad’s Facebook. I saw that his cover photo was a picture of me. It was a recent picture he had taken from my Facebook account. I was so mad. Here this stranger was stealing pictures of me and I had no idea who he was. I knew he was my dad, but that does not change the fact that he was a complete stranger to me. I did not know what kind of person he was or what happened between him and my mom. Nobody would tell me. I was talking to him on Facebook and was angry with him for taking my pictures without me knowing. Eventually my dad started to tell me his side of the story.

            He had told me one day, when I was a baby, him and my mother were in the park fighting. He had told me he was holding me. He had said my mother fell and he tripped over her. He said tripping over her was how she got the foot print in her face.

            My mother had told me that I was in the baby carriage. I was rolling down the hill while her and my dad were fighting. My aunt had to stop me from rolling down the hill and into the street. She said my uncle Vy was there with some other people and they were just watching everything. My dad was beating up my mom and when she ended up on the ground he stomped on her face. Which is how she got the footprint in her face. A cop drove up on to the grass, in the park, and he hit my dad with the police car to get him to stop. They had said my dad was very drunk and he was on drugs. My dad went to jail for 7 years. I was told that right before this fight, my dad was released from jail. He was let out of jail because they said he was not a danger, but obviously he was since he went and beat up my mom. The jail he went to was in Texas. I heard the prisons over there are really bad.

            When my mom and dad were together he would steal from her. He would take her food stamps and sell them for money. He would also take her money. He was addicted to drugs. He also stole from his own mother. My aunts told me that when she was pregnant with me they would never let her go walking around outside alone. They did not want my dad to do something bad to her.

            After my dad got out of jail he met Mayra. She is my sister’s mom. She was 15 when she was with my dad. He did not know she was under age. She looked older for her age. My sister is the same way. She is 13, but she looks 16. Mayra is Puerto Rican and Dominican. My dad was abusive with Mayra as well.

            One day in 2012 I went to the flea market with my aunt Alicia, my cousins, and my brothers and sister. On this day we were walking around looking at stuff. Then Alicia said to me “Lyanna your dad just walked by.” I said what and when I turned he was there with Vy, my cousin Zada, my sister Savunny, and my grandmother. I had never met any of these people before this moment. Not counting when I was a baby. It was really awkward. I did not know what to say. We were all standing around and they asked me how I was doing. Everyone started crying and hugging me. It was really weird. So after this encounter my dad gave me money and we went our separate ways.

            When I got home to my mom’s house I did not plan on telling her I saw him, but my brother or sister told her. I knew it was a sore subject for her and she did not like to talk about him. She asked me what had happened, even though she already knew. I told her everything. I told her about how I found him on Facebook and I told her what he told me that happened that day in the park. She told me her story. I could tell she was not happy.

            During May of 2012 I had moved out of my mom’s house and in with my friend. During this time I was talking to my dad more. I went to my grandmother’s house because my dad’s sister Linda was having a party for my cousin Jaden. He was turning 2 I think. I spent time with my sister Savunny. It was really weird finding out I had another sister. She is family, but she is also a stranger. I did not know how to act around all these new people. It was really overwhelming.

            My dad was living with a woman during this time. I do not remember her name. I know that they were together for 5 years. They never went out together or talked to each other. They were more like roommates. They did not act like a couple. They broke up and she moved to Rhode Island. My dad was looking for a new apartment.

            I moved out of my friend’s house and in with my grandmother. She did not speak any English. She could only ask if I wanted to eat. While I lived with her I spent a lot of time with Linda. We went out together all the time. She is only about 2 years older than me. We would always go party with her friends. My grandmother would always stay home and take care of Jaden.

            After living there for a few weeks, I moved in with my dad’s girlfriend. Linda did not like her. She said Kianni was a gold digger. Kianni had her own money though. Well from what I saw. Kianni was Cambodian and Vietnamese. She was very nice. She has a daughter named Kianna. When I met Kianni she was introduced to me as Thida. Her daughter was nicknamed Yana. Her daughter was 9. She would always stay right by my side from the moment I moved in with them. I think her daughter was lonely. Thida always went out and she always traveled. She was hardly ever home. She did work a lot too.

            The first time I ever went to a bar was with Thida. I was 18. She knew the bouncer and that is how I got in. He did not even check my ID. All guys liked Thida. My dad did not know she took me to a bar. They had a fight and she did not tell him where we were going. My dad seemed to get mad at her a lot. I do not know why. I liked her. I had become friends with her. I only heard that everyone thinks she is a bad influence. One time when her and my dad were fighting, she told him she was going to take me to Cambodia and have me marry someone. He got really mad at that and told her not to. It was not all bad though. There were times when they got along.

            In July of 2012 Thida and Yana were going to Cambodia. Also my dad found an apartment. I moved in with my dad. Living with my dad was not very good. I missed Thida and Yana. During this month my dad was on disability because he had gotten in a car accident and hurt his back. He could not go to work. I was always using his car and going out because he never went anywhere. I would go to my friends’ houses. Sometimes I would take my sister and cousin to Alicia’s house to swim in her pool. It was weird having Savunny and Zada by my side at all times. I did not like it. I was not used to being followed around all the time. They would sleep with me in my room. I used to share a room with my sister Helen when I lived at my mom’s house, but that was different because I grew up with Helen. Savunny and Zada did not grow up with me. It was fun hanging out with them though, even though they were both pretty young.

            When I lived with my dad we used to fight a lot. Whenever he got mad at me he would turn off my phone. I would yell at him because I hated not having a phone. I told him I can afford to pay my own phone. It was his idea to put me on his phone plan. I was paying for my own phone before this. Then one time we got in a bad fight and he had turned off my phone and I was trying to leave the apartment, but he would not let me. I told him I just wanted to leave and he kept asking, “Where do you think you are going?” I was being really mean. I said, “What are you going to hit me?” and I said I would call the cops on him. After all the things I was saying my dad started to cry. We amends after fighting and he turned my phone back on. It was not long after this though that we had another fight. I do not remember what caused the last one, but my dad blamed me for the breakup between him and that lady he lived with for 5 years. He also blamed the car accident on me. Even though I was not even there. He said he did not care about me or love me. This was all over the phone. He was at work during this. So while he was at work I packed all my things. I called Mayra and she picked me up. She and Savunny helped me move. I moved to Melrose, in with my godmother.

            After I had moved Linda and Vy were calling me asking me what happened. I told them everything and they wanted me to let my dad cool down and give him another chance. I did not. I did not talk to him for a few years. My dad tried telling Thida not to talk to me anymore. She did not listen to him though. We were still friends. We went to California together. I still hung out with her when I could. I was working a lot during this time.

            When I moved in with my grandmother I started talking to my dad again. He was so sorry for the way that he acted and the things he said. I saw him a few times last year. Then we got in a fight and he was flipping out at me for no reason. Then I stopped talking to him. During this year was when I started talking to my dad again for the last time. I still talk to my dad. I know he is a hard person to get along with, but he is still my dad. Even though he had given up custody of me when I was in the third grade. He signed over all his rights. He is still my dad though. I visit him, Vy, my grandmother and I sometimes see Linda. I will be seeing more of them this summer.

            I know my dad probably acts the way he does because of his past. He was in the Khmer Rouge when he was 7 years old. Today he was telling me about when he was in a refugee camp in Thailand. When they were being disciplined in school they would make him kneel on jack fruit. The skin of jack fruit is very sharp. Also the people at the school would hit my dad with a stick. Nobody should have to deal with this torture. It is inhumane.

            I have been giving my dad a chance because he has been through so much since he was a young boy. We only have one life to live. Before we know it, it will all be over. I need to spend as much time as I can with my family. All the time and years we have wasted we will never get back. We have to live each day like it is our last. Spending time with family is very important. There is no need to waste time on being angry or waste time fighting. Whatever we say could be the last words we have.

Angkor Wat

By Vanntha Sann

This had been an interesting week. I had been reading a lot about my mother homeland, Cambodia. I am fascinated with Angkor Wat, especially the level of detail, and how it was built. Angkor Wat is the most iconic temple in Cambodia. It was voted the world’s number 1 sight and it is understandably high on the list for many travelers by Lonely Planet. It’s definitely on my top 10 list of places to visit. My younger sister visited Cambodia last year, and she fell in love with Angkor Wat. I will make it my goal to visit Cambodia in 2020.

According to Lonely Planet Angkor Wat was built by Suryavarman II-the earthy representation of Mt Meru, the Mt Olympus of the Hindu faith and the abode of ancient gods. “The Cambodian god-kings of old each strove to better their ancestors’ structures in size, scale and symmetry, culminating in what is believed to be the world’s largest religious building.”(Lonely Planet). The temple is a national pride of Cambodia; it’s our heart and soul.

The level of detail of the temple is unbelievable.  My sister was really impressed by the magnificence and the decorative embellishments. She also mentioned the historical carving on the wall. “Stretching around the outside of the central temple complex is an 800m-long series of intricate and astonishing bas-reliefs – carving depicting historical events and stories from mythology.”(Lonely Planet) The Temple is well-known for the 3000 beguiling apsaras carved into its walls. Each of them is distinctive, and there are 37 different hairstyles.

According to Lonely Planet, you’ll find a statue of Vishun when you walk the causeway to the main entrance and through the courtyards to the final main tower. “Vishnu is a metaphorically travelling back to the first age of the creation of the universe.”(Lonely Planet) It really makes you wonder how Angkor Wat was built.

The temple was built by using sandstone blocks that was extracted from the holy mountain of Phnom Kulen and floated down the Siem Reap River on rafts. “According to inscriptions, the construction of Angkor Wat involved 300,000 workers and 6000 elephants, yet it was still not fully completed.”(Lonely Planet) That’s unbelievable! I still can’t get my head wrap around 6000 elephants. I know that kind of operation require a lot of workers but 6000 elephants? I wish I can see this massive construction of Angkor Wat in action because it’s pure genius.

I learned so much about Angkor Wat by reading the article from Lonely Planet. The more I read about this iconic temple the more I want to see it in person.  My sister said it was a once in a life time trip and that she feels really lucky to see it in person. She also said, “Words and pictures will not justify the beauty of Angkor Wat”. I can’t wait to plan this trip of a lifetime. 

  

Living in America

By Sopeeda Suy

             

As a Cambodian girl born and raised in America I faced many obstacles. When you are born in America people expect a lot from you.  There will be many people who is going to put you down but everyone has their strengths and weaknesses so it doesn’t matter from what place you come from. But I do believe wherever place you are born in, it is good to try your best to speak their language so you can communicate with people living there. It will also help you to go to school and find a job. Growing up I noticed that other people of a different race knew how to speak, read, and write in their own language. Because of that it made me aspire to do the same. I did not want to forget about where my family came from and my ethnicity. When I attended high school I seen many Cambodian students who emigrated from Cambodia. I envied them because I wanted to be able to read and write in Khmer just like them. After that, I decided to take a Khmer class for all four years that I have attended high school and was able to be proficient in it. I wanted to prove to everyone that even though I am a Cambodian girl born in America that I can also speak my own language and not forget about where my parents and ancestors came from. Khmer was not my first language and many Cambodians who emigrated from Cambodia and already knew the language think that I was clueless about my own country. They think I only embrace other people’s cultures other than my own and do not consider myself as a Cambodian. Many whisper to each other saying that Cambodian children born in America these days don’t know anything. But they do not know that I could understand what they are saying. Although, I understand why they are thinking this way because there are many Cambodian people born in America who do not consider themselves as a Cambodian and do not value our culture. But I am the many who actually appreciates where I came from as well as wanting to learn about Cambodian culture and traditions.  It hurts for me to hear that they think that Cambodians born in the United States weren’t raised the right way. I know before I was not good at speaking in Khmer but at least I tried my very best until I could finally read in Khmer. For the reason that I was born in the Unites States I wanted to try my best to be good at learning the English language. Because the place I live in requires learning and knowing English. Learning the English language opened doors for me to find a great career and become successful in America. When I graduate with my degree I want to represent myself as a successful Cambodian American woman.

I have always wanted to travel to Cambodia but I have not been able to go due to the struggles and money problems my family had to face ever since they immigrated to America. Living in America was very hard for my parents because they had to adapt to the environment and different cultures. They had to learn the English language so they can go to school and find a good job to pay off bills. I should have already traveled to Cambodia because there are so many years that I could have gone but everyone has their own timeline in life. Not only have I not traveled to Cambodia I still have yet to travel around the world. My parents had a well thought out timeline for our life living in America.  In order for us to travel they want to make sure that we have everything set. Within the years my parents have been working so much to save up money for our family to move to a better place. My father used to be a landlord and owned a 3 family apartment located in a busy neighborhood. They always had their mind not only on the present but also the future of our family. As the years go by my parents finally bought a single family home in a nice and peaceful neighborhood. Living in a single home for the beginning was also a struggle especially when salaries weren’t as high as it is today. We had to know when to spend and not to spend in order to save money for the future. These were some of the reasons why we weren’t able to travel because traveling is very expensive. We had other goals we wanted to achieve before we started traveling. From all the years that I lived with my parents I appreciate them for all the sacrifices and obstacles they withstood for me to become the person I am today. They did everything they can to be able to give their children a wonderful and bright future.

I will be graduating on May 26, 2016 with an associate’s degree in Business and then I will be transferring to a four-year university. My field of study is in Accounting and I plan to pursue a master’s degree so I can become a certified public accountant. Since I am the oldest child of my family I want to graduate and earn a degree as a gift to my parents.  

The Cambodian Dream

By Vothy Uy

            As a kid growing up I always dream of being in the NBA. I loved the game of basketball and everyday i would workout and practice just so i could be good enough to play one day. That was one of many dreams I had, but sometimes dreams don’t always workout in your favor. That was ok with me I grew to be only 5’9 and couldn’t make the basketball team in high school. I had to put basketball on hold for a while and chose to follow another dream I had which was music.

I love to sing and write music with my friends, I love it so much that I started recording actual songs and putting them out on the internet. Although I’ve only been making music for a year now I want to pursue it and be famous one day for the music I make. I feel like this is an outlet for me because it can open so many doors for me especially for my family. At a young age in my life my family weren’t really wealthy, it was a hard time for us trying to make ends meet. When my grandparents came to America from Cambodia, they came with nothing but themselves and their children.

My grandma has nine kids who she brought back to the states with her from Cambodia, they had a hard start when they got to the united states. When i was born they were at a decent level when it came to money. Something that I will always remember is all the stories my grandfather would tell me about the wars in Cambodia he was in. Those stories were amazing and ever since that I always wanted to visit Cambodia. Another dream I have is to give back to Cambodia. Even though i don’t know much about my heritage and there is so much to learn and know, I just want to show them that I care for them.

By that I mean when I am more successful I will want to build a school for them out there that teaches English and more. Being Cambodian and being around others showed me all the character our parents put in us, some parents came straight from Cambodia and some were born here in the states but that didn’t hide the glow that Cambodia had on them. We have so much pride and it’s amazing how we show it off and are so proud to be it. My dream is to just give back I don’t even want anything in return, so when I make it to where I want to be I will build a school in honor of my grandparents. Although dreams are hard to achieve i know that all the hard work and dedication will pull off and things will happen.

My first two dreams I talked about well only one of them won’t happen because it’s too late but with my music I will influence the people all over the world. Maybe I will have a concert in Cambodia too that’s how serious I am about this music thing. Another dream I have is to take my grandma and grandpa on vacation to Cambodia. I want to experience it with them because they know so much about it and it would be nice to bring them back to their homeland. Dreams are meant to be achieved and one day I will achieve these dreams, all the hard work and dedication that is put into the dream will show and it will happen. I hope that I make this dream come true and I won’t stop until they are met. This is the Cambodian Dream!

Don’t Think I’ve Forgotten

By Solomon Say

​During this past week, me and a couple of my friends were able to catch the screening of “Don’t Think I’ve Forgotten” over at the Showcase Cinemas in Lowell, Massachusetts. Prior to attending the showcasing of this film, I was met with very little publicity of this documentary. Other than the fact that the film’s directors were holding some type of function over at the restaurant hall at Sampao Meas, I found that this movie didn’t have much of a marketing campaign attached to it within the immediate community of Lowell. At least from my perspective, I found that to be the case because I was only told about this documentary from the advice of Professor George Chigas. Needless to say, his recommendation for me to watch this movie, as well from many other colleagues of mine, was greatly appreciated. I stumbled upon the movie trailer for “Don’t Think I’ve Forgotten” which had the tagline of Cambodia’s Lost Rock and Roll, and I was interested to the fact that there was a documentary made about the Cambodian music scene from the late 50’s all the way to the mid 70’s. As I was watching the trailer, I thought to myself about the technicalities that were used to produce such a film. Personally, I feel as if Cambodian cinema is not up-to-standards as American cinema. Needless to say I was pretty skeptical to even consider watching this movie. However, as I was digging through the archives of the “Cambodian-side” of Youtube.com, I found myself stumbling through the many Cambodian oldies sang by Sin Sisamuth and Ro Sereysothea. Having been growing up by the melodic and angelic voice of Sin Sisamuth as a child, I found myself showing a much deeper appreciation to the sounds of Cambodian oldies. 

The type of iconic symbol that Sin Sisamuth had within the Cambodian lifestyle had put him on a pedestal that made him a living legend. The stature of his legendary status is documented respectfully well in the movie “Don’t Think I’ve Forgotten”, along with many other iconic singers in the movie as well. At first, the movie comes off as an aesthetic of Cambodian cinema. The way in which the movie is presented to us, the audience, is unlike any other Cambodian film I’ve ever seen. Knowing to the fact that his film was also broadcasted to a much wider audience, rather than a specific Cambodian population, this film did a superb job on targeting a much bigger and global audience. While still staying true to its roots, I could tell that this movie gave off a long and lasting impression. At first, the movie gives off a brief history on what type of influences fueled the Cambodian music scene during the early 40’s. Many of the influences were surprising to me, as a matter of fact. I didn’t know the Afro-Cuban music scene had played a strong factor into the influence of Cambodian music at the time. Needless to say, this type of documentary was illuminating the light of the joy that Cambodian music has amongst the people of that time. 

Throughout many moments in the film, the audience is given a stronger point of view by some of the musicians who lived through the golden era of music in Cambodia. As well as Cambodian music connoisseurs, the movie is able to give personal accounts on what the Cambodian music did for people living in the late 60s and early 70s. As I was watching this movie, I saw the love for this type of music to be uplifting. The amount of memories that the interviewees were recollecting created a sense of nostalgia that they strongly remember. I felt the absolute joy in which some of these people felt during their times when they would enjoy the music themselves during their younger years. The Cambodian music scene went through so many periods of within their culture that the people of Cambodia would soon feel the change. 

My initial reaction to this film as a whole was heartwarming. I felt the effort and care that was used to create this type of documentary; a type of perspective that I would have never found myself showing watching a documentary as a whole. There is no better feeling than seeing a movie that is well-done, and perfectly executed like a movie such as “Don’t Think I’ve Forgotten”. Everything done within this movie showcases the beauty that Cambodians found themselves in, by using music as their outlet. This type of music represented itself as an emotional high for the Cambodian people to be apart of. To see the icons who made this music be tragically taken away during the Khmer Rouge makes the Cambodian music of that time an entity both mysterious, yet precious. There is no doubt in my mind that the music is the soul of a nation, and to Cambodians, music is more than just something you listen to; it’s something that you live by. It’s an entity that makes you become closer with others and helps a nation feel the weight of the emotion that these musical artists put through their words and songs.

The Memories

By Kim Sok

I remember at a young age the memories I had living in Long Beach, California. The Cambodian community was so strong, and it still is till this day. I felt a sense of belonging when I was there compared to growing up in Lawrence and having to move across the country. I have lived in Lawrence for 14 years now. A part of me wished I had a strong connection to my Khmer community in Lowell as I grew older, but due to only just visiting the city from time to time, I was never able to build that connection.

Living in Lawrence taught me how to appreciate diversity and I was able to be open minded about different foods, culture and backgrounds. Although it had its difficult times when I was the only minority in the classroom, I was grateful and lucky to have met and be friends with great people. It definitely was a hard adjustment having to transition; being 5 and extremely shy wasn’t the best way for a new start. A lot of my friends were never Asian, so they weren’t able to relate to me in school 

Once I entered high school, I joined the Upward Bound program. Every student there were all Hispanics, and I remember having such a difficult time being the only one that was a minority. But as the months passed I learned to accept myself as well as accepting the fact that this is who I am, and I can’t change the fact that I am the only Asian in an all Hispanic community.

As I grew older, I became more comfortable with the word minority, I learned to love my culture, and I was able to love myself through the acceptance of being a minority. Although I was not able to grow up with my family back in California, I now try to have a connection with my culture and visiting them in California every summer is definitely helping as well.

I hope with time, and the more I grow I continue to learn more about the history of Cambodia, as well as the language, food and culture. Cambodia is and will always be a part of me, and I identify as a proud Cambodian.

            Even being a student in University of Massachusetts Lowell, I am able to connect with other fellow Asians and learn more through them. I definitely would love to have a career that involves helping within the Khmer community. I want to be able to be a voice for those who are not able to speak their own. With the experience and knowledge that my school is giving me, I hope I can later apply it to my own career and make my community happy with everything that I am doing for them and their happiness.

            It’s especially great to be a part of a campus community where I am becoming much closer to my professors who are there for me, helping, guiding and mentoring me through y hardships and as well as through discovery who I am and finding myself through my career path. I remember speaking to one of my professors, and I was explaining to her my difficulty in trying to connect to my Khmer community, and she immediately told me to talk to the perfect person to go to for what I needed. Although it was such a small act that she did, it was extremely meaningful for me, because that was exactly what I have been looking for.

The sense of belonging and a form of unity within my own culture and community has been so close in arms reach but yet so far to grab. But I’ve learned so much from being at UML, and knowing that I have a strong relationship with my professors, only assures me that I will only continue to thrive from here on out. My goal to be a voice for my Khmer community will slowly but surely be accomplished, with more time and more experience here at UML.

I am extremely grateful and lucky to have chosen this school, and to have made friend here at UML that I would never have met elsewhere. It’s been a great experience here thus far, and I hope to only experience and see even more great people here.  

Kindness

By Naly Meng

​If I was a millionaire, the first people besides my family and friends that I would help is  the people of Cambodia. Cambodia is one of the poorest countries in the world and I believe it is due to the corruption and the devastating event they went through known as the Khmer Rouge. Before the Khmer Rouge happened, Cambodia was peaceful and beautiful and it was no doubt a progressing country. However, ever since that awful event happened it has turned into a corrupt and has progressed very little compared to other countries. There are so many problems in Cambodia and I don’t know how long it will take to resolve those problems, but I believe it will all come together one day.

​The most corrupt part of Cambodia is the fact that the rich stay rich and the poor stay poor. The rich are so selfish and don’t do anything to help the poorer people. If I had the money that some of the wealthier people in Cambodia that, I would use a lot of that money to help those in need. I know that I wouldn't be able to help everyone, but some of the first people I would choose to help are the children. I think education is such an important part of every kid’s life, so if I had the money to build a school to teach children, I would open one up. To change the future, you must change the present. If we want change for the future, that means that we have to educate the younger ones now so when they’re older, they can make the changes. 

​Another group of people I would choose to help are widowed mothers, or just girls in general that work long hours for little money. I would somehow provide them with a good living condition and food so that they don’t have to worry about all of that. One of things that makes me sad about Cambodia is hearing about the young girls that work at the factories for a monthly salary of about $90. They work really long hours in horrible conditions yet they get paid so little. Maybe if I had the power to make these types of changes, I would try to come up with new jobs for girls where they made more money, or made sure that they weren’t being overworked in such horrid conditions. Also, I would provide classes for them as well, so they can learn English,.

​In addition to helping kids and girls/women in need, I would provide the people in rural areas with supplies like shampoo, soap, comb, toilet paper, and other essentials. Compared to the living conditions in America, the living conditions of those in rural areas are really awful and unsanitary. Seeing people live in wooden houses without necessary cleaning items and utensils was eye opening. They go through life everyday using what they can, while people in America are so wasteful. Although to outsiders it may seem that they live a sad life, I believe they are happy with what they have. 

​I really wish I could do more to help Cambodia. When I went on my trip on 2013, I did a little act of kindness by going to the poorer areas and handing out money for the adults and candy for the little kids. Although it was not a lot, it made me feel really good to see them happy. I don’t have much to give, but giving to those in need made me feel like I was doing the right thing. If I could have all the money in the world, I know that a lot of that money would go towards those in Cambodia because I think they are deserving of it for what they have endured. It is only a wish of mine to do something so big like this, but even when I am older, I hope I am able to do little acts of kindness every time I go. Not only does it make me feel good but it makes me grateful to know that I have so much compared to other people and I am blessed to live the life I do.

Khmer language

By Primeny Oeur

​It is difficult to be able to know two languages, and really understand it. Since growing up in America, I understand my culture and language, but I am unable to hold a conversation in Khmer. English comes easily for me when speaking because I was born in America and exposed to speaking English more. My parents spoke Khmer to me but I respond mainly in English. I wish I was exposed more to my culture’s language in order to speak to my parents better in Khmer. 

​My parents understand English but there are some things I cannot explain well to them because they will not understand some English they are unfamiliar with. For me to better understand my culture and language, I decided to take Khmer classes in high school for 4 years. Then, I decided to continue Khmer classes in college. Since high school, I believe I came a long way in the Khmer language even though it is still not at its best. I understand how to read and write it better. In order to become really good in Khmer I have to keep practicing and use it more.

​My father said one day he will take me to Cambodia to know where he and my mother came from. He also wants me to keep our language and culture alive and keep it passing onto the next generations. If our language is not being used, then the language can die, and will be unknown. As for my mother, she wants me to know Khmer more but makes sure that I understand the American way to live comfortably. I think that it is hard to learn a language at this age now, but it is easy to lose the language if it is not being used frequently. If I ever get to visit Cambodia, I want to make sure I can communicate with the people that share the same language and culture as I do.

​My younger sister barely understands Khmer but she is taking Khmer class. This is another reason I am trying to really learn how to speak Khmer better to help my little sister. I want to be able to help my younger sister speak Khmer better as well. Also, it would be nice for me to help her on reading and writing Khmer better. Knowing two languages is helpful in many ways and it is a great skill to have. 

​Being able to speak two languages can be useful in translating for people, job skills, and being able to communicate for you. It is beneficial to not have a language barrier and can gain a lot just from being bilingual. I still have a language barrier between my parents and I. Although, having the language barrier between us is not a big barrier. I just want to completely understand my parents and I also want them to understand me. If my parents and I understand each other, I think we can live more comfortably with one another. 

​When my parent and I do understand each other I am happy but then again I feel as though I need to understand my parents more than having them understand me. I always hear my mom say to me in Khmer that I do not know anything about our culture or she always complains that I really do not understand our language when she speaks to me. I want to prove to my mom that I can speak our language and I actually do understand the type of culture we have. I just want my parents to know that I can work hard to make them proud and that I can understand what they have gone through and be there to support them.

My childhood

By Naly Meng

       ​I was born in Cambodia in 1995 in Phnom Penh. I remember a lot of my childhood in Cambodia, but when I went back in summer 2013, there were a lot of similarities and differences. I came to America at the age of 6 and have lived here since then. When my cousins and I decided to go to Cambodia it had been almost 11 and a half years since we had been there. I was excited but at the same time nervous because of some of the things I heard. Before going, I heard stories about how scary it was, how hot it was, and how you can get sick easily from the bacteria. From hearing all of this, obviously I was not too excited, but the one thing I was most excited about was seeing my family, especially my grandmother who is in her 90’s.

       ​The trip included me, and 3 of my cousins. One of them lives in California, and the other two live in Texas. Since it was an out of the country trip, we thought it would be really good if we all met up in Texas so we can go together. So all four of us met up in Texas and prepared for our trip. The day of the trip we went to Houston’s airport to take a flight to Moscow, Russia. From that trip we went right away to Singapore airport. From Singapore was where we then took our last flight and landed in Cambodia. Of course since it is across the world, the trip took us a total of about 20-30 hours because of some delays that happened as well. 

​The first day we landed it was really weird. It was like I was in another planet, not just country. It was really hot and muggy out. The first thing we did was go out to eat of course because we hadn’t eaten real food for over a day. The thing that was really different and scary was the driving standards. On the first day, I saw how chaotic the streets were already and I was honestly afraid that I could get into an accident with the way everyone was driving. After the first few days, we started to get used to it a little more. We went out to eat everyday, almost 3 or 4 times a day. I sometimes stayed with my family and other times I stayed with my cousins’ family. Everyday we would try to find new places to go and be tourists. Some of the places we went was to the beach in Kompong Saom, we went to the mountains, to the rural parts, to the club, and the fitness club there. 

​Although at first I thought that 30 days in Cambodia was way too long, as the days went on I realized how much fun I was having. I actually started to wish that I was staying longer. As the days went on it felt like I could get used to living there. I really liked the lifestyle because everyone was care free and all I did was eat and have fun. The thing that was most similar and a part of the trip that reminded me most of when I lived there was when I went to a rural part called Sreyville. My aunt lived in this area and I remember going there all the time when I was a kid, and it brought back a lot of good memories. It’s funny because although a lot of the city changed and developed, everything in Sreyville was still the same. 

​Speaking of the differences, there were a lot more streets in Cambodia and the houses were a lot more modern than I remembered. All in all I had a really great time in Cambodia. I did not expect to like it as much as I did considering all of the things that people told me. I liked it so much that I wish I could have stayed longer. I’ve been on many trips before and I can honestly say that Cambodia was my favorite. I plan on going back in the next few years and hopefully it will continue to progress but at the same time remain the same Cambodia that I remember it. If it was a safer and more sanitary country, I would live there without a question. I think Cambodia is a beautiful country that everyone should visit, and I am grateful that I went and will go again. 

Lowell is a great place to visit

By Somphosnita Peouv

            There is a long history of Lowell on how it became Lowell Mill City to the second greatest Cambodian population. During the 18^th century, the largest textile mills factories were built in Lowell. Everyone including working class, women and slaves were working in the mills such as spinning, weaving, and carding in cotton cloths. This made the city of Lowell one of the largest industrial revolution of producing cottons. Women and men were working very hard in the twelve to fourteen hours shift in the heat because there were no air conditioner, only big glass window which reflect heat and light to come through the big buildings. As times goes on, immigrants from all over the world settled in America. Fast forward to the 20^th century after the Khmer Rouge ended, many Cambodians immigrated to America which included Lowell, Massachusetts.

             When Cambodian families initially settled in Lowell, they had a lot of hardship such as trying to learn another language, coping with depression after the horrendous war, trying to get their immigration paper work done legally, seek for their relatives, find a job and some started out with only twenty dollars to live their lives. The second generation children started to enroll in the Lowell Public Schools. They all seem like aliens because of their differences in physicality and language. Some were made fun of and did not have the right teachings and teacher supervisions so they end up dropping out of school early. Some joined gangs because they feel more secure and had commonality. But some worked very hard through high schools and are able to make it to college. Americans had a cultural shock because of how Cambodians eat, communicate, variety of traditions and cultural practices. Some Americans actually moved out from their neighborhood because they think Cambodians were dangerous.

            After the openings of Cambodian (Khmer) markets, the city of Lowell drastically changed because of the commonality that this small Cambodian community had. The city became diverse and a flood of Cambodians from all over America came and visit. Cambodians have so many traditional ceremonies. The most famous Cambodian celebration is Cambodian New Years which is celebrated on the second and third week of every April which filled up the pagoda or temple in Lowell very fast. Another famous celebration is the Cambodian Water Festival which involves with boat racing and different types of Southeast Asian traditional food, clothing, and different types of Southeast Asian jewelries being sold on the Merrimack River for the weekend. This celebration is held on the third week of every August and many Cambodians and Southeast Asians would come from all over the states to gather together to dance and have fun.

            There are many Cambodian (Khmer) markets, restaurants, little food shops and traditional clothing stores in Lowell. Almost every weekend, especially during the summer, Cambodians or everyone in general loves to do little cook-outs. But for Cambodian, they love to gather up and cook the most traditional food such as egg rolls, papaya salad, fried rice, curry, grilled barbecued beef on sticks and more. If any strangers walk by these Cambodian houses, their mouths would start to be watery because the smell of the cooking is amazing!  

            Closeness is a thing for Cambodians because they love to walk to the nearest market and restaurants. It is such a small city that almost every Cambodians do their walking to get a good exercise and for those who do not have cars.       With such a proximate space and closures, in the Cambodian community in Lowell, almost everyone knows each other and consider them as their long lost brothers, sisters, uncles or aunts.

            Lowell Mill City is a small city filled with history and diversity. There are many things to do such as; going to different types of Cambodian markets, little Cambodian fast-food shops, variety of Southeast Asian restaurants and traditional clothing, the American textile museums or the Lowell Mills and downtown Lowell to shopping. Lowell is the second largest Cambodian population from Long Beach, California. A lot of the American dreams are built in these Cambodians which produce larger population. With the after math of the Cambodian Genocides, the new and younger population creates a lot of bonding with their own kinds and full of joy when it comes to an explanation of their heritage.

I am today

By Sopeeda Suy  

         

Every kid is going to grow up and face reality, hardships and problems that will be hard for them to overcome. When I was in middle school I did not know how my future would turn out. I had no idea what I would do in the future and what my goals were. Every day I just lived it not knowing what my path in life will be. I was bullied and it made me feel like I was worthless. There were many times I felt like crying and wanted to be cool and popular like my other classmates.

            At the age of twelve and thirteen I started feeling embarrassed of my culture and traditions. Money was scarce back then especially when I attended a private middle school. I was among the small amount of Asian students that attended the school and I felt like I was left out. All the white students were spoiled and wore expensive clothes that made me envy them. I wanted to be just like them but, I knew that can’t be possible because I should learn to accept who I am and love who I am. I wanted to be Americanized and forget about my ethnic background. I faced a lot of peer pressure and discrimination of my race. Because of that, I wanted to become a different person and forget about my culture and traditions. But then, the more I hear my classmates making fun of Asian people, I start realizing that I should not let other people put me down. Those people who are judgmental and arrogant aren’t worth socializing with.

            I do not blame myself for not being strong in the past because I was just a kid that is still learning and it was one of my weaknesses that shaped who I am today. Even though I wasn’t as strong as my other classmates but the most important point in my life is that I learned and experienced it. Everyone will face many difficulties at some point in life and I faced most of it in middle school.

            My parents have helped me along the way as I grew up. They taught me to stop feeling embarrassed and to not care what other people think of me. Life isn’t about pleasing others, it’s about your own happiness and joy. It doesn’t matter what other people think of me because I know who I am and I don’t need to prove it to anyone.

            My journey through middle school and high school was very difficult but I made it through. I am proud of who I am and I will not let anyone bring me down. Not only that, I learned to appreciate what I have and stop comparing myself to others. Everyone’s life is different; we are all following our own road. The person I was in the past is not the same person I am today. I have experienced being hurt, fear, and sadness.  I fought to become the grown woman I am today and I know that every day I will still keep learning.