Hidden Cambodia

By Diandra Heung 

The three weeks in Cambodia was not a vacation. It was a life learning experience. An experience I wish everyone could have. People can complain about not being able to get the newest sneaker that just came out or wanting the new iPhone that has all these cool features. But something I will now never complain about is school. I wish people would understand the struggles people go through from one country to the other.

Immigrants from all over the world want to come to America to pursue the “American dream.” I have a cousin from Cambodia, Sokleap, who is 16 just a few months older than me. He once said, “It's my dream to go to the U.S to study.” or would say “I wish I had a job in the U.S that can pay me well.” It never really clicked in my mind that people see America as the best country. I would always complain about how 7 hours of school can be too long or why solving for x is pointless. But then I remember I'm living someone's dream life. Sokleap would only wish for 7 hours of school a day, A present teacher, and the whole education system we have. Why do we take it for granted? Students don’t see the value an education can hold. It finds you jobs to make a living out of. While Cambodia struggles to make a dollar a day. The big difference is the kids in Cambodia want to have the education we have. While the kids in America see it as a waste of time. 

I walked down a dirt path road to a red wood building. Each building had a watermark waist length due to the floods. In Cambodia, during floods school would get canceled. These students don’t celebrate because they got a day off like we do. Their home wishing, they had school instead of selling at markets. I have noticed that the students in Cambodia take pride in their education before anything else. They’re education is the only way they can survive. While we can survive off of free education, lunches, health and so much. The resources provided are not used enough while students from Cambodia can really use it. My cousin only wishes to be born in America. Instead, he lives there fearing for the next meal he can get next. Or fearing for a teacher to show up. Now I know to never say “I hate school,” because to be honest we already have the best of the best. 

Who am I truly? How do people perceive me? From my perspective, people's opinions of how I am is the complete opposite of who I am. They see me as a mean girl, with no emotions, who isn’t approachable. However, I am not what people think. 

I Identify as she/her, a Cambodian, student athlete. However, I want people to realize I'm Cambodian, not a whitewashed Asian. Growing up in America with a diverse friend group, people tend to think I'm whitewashed for the way I dress. However, I am far from that. There's nothing wrong with being white-washed or ‘Americanized’, but I want people to understand I am so much more than that. I speak two languages: English and fluent Khmer. I can speak it and understand it so well. My mom is a master Cambodian instructor and one of the principal dancers. Like her, I’ve been a Cambodian dancer my whole life. Dance built my confidence as I gained pride in my own culture. I struggled to show affection towards my culture. Now that I'm older, I found passion to use it to power my personal growth and make a positive impact in my community. I want people to realize my culture can bring the community a sense of belonging.  

My mom has always taught me to be appreciative of the things you have. When I was younger, I always wished to have my own bedroom. Sharing a room with an older sister could be a pain but I realized it brought good memories along. I wanted to be rich with a 3-story house and my own car. But I soon realized that being able to have a roof over my head, water to drink and a full fringe is what being rich is all about. My house may not be the biggest, but it sure does bring my family the happy memories and intentions to be close. 

As a child growing up my parents taught me traditional manners. I have always done Khmer dance that sticks with me throughout my life. However, bowing to our elders is extremely important. One day, I was living in my old house on Princeton Boulevard, when my mom invited a few friends over for some wine and chit chat. I said proudly “Hello Ming!” My five-year-old self thought I was doing the right thing. All I ever said to my fellow classmates was say Hello. My mom yells “hey no, that's how you say it.” Now, I had no idea what she was talking about. If she wanted me to continue to talk to her or give her a hug? She says, “Lala says Chum-reap-sour and bow”. My mom's friend just smiled awkwardly and laughed it off. But by the death stare my mom gave me, I knew something was wrong. 

Everywhere we went I would hear my mom and dad saying chum-reap-sour, but I thought it was just their thing. I never really thought about all the different things they do from me.  In the temple she puts two hands together and greets the elders. My mom taught me that in our culture it is highly essential. My parents expected me to learn from them after seeing it happen day to day. However, their immigrants from Cambodia where they're already used to it. I adjust to being a Cambodian American speaking Khmer at home and English in school. 

Now, after this incident, I have learned to greet everyone older with me by saying “chum-reap-sour” with my hands together bowing. It shows respect to me as a younger person. To my parents' friends that I don’t even know in the slightest, I bow to show my respect towards them. I now know that being able to do this will give my parents props for raising a teen that still follows our cultural manners. A vacation to Cambodia opened my eyes to a side of the world I didn't know existed. My homeland, where my people originated from. The place my parents were born, the place where my roots are from, and the place of struggle. Walking through the dusty streets of Phnom Phen filled with hungry children. My stomach didn’t sit easy as I saw little children find a way to make food. This is the heart-breaking side no one sees as America is the dream life everyone wants. 

I remember visiting the royal palace in Cambodia. My mom in fact used to perform their back in the late 1990s for special occasions.  There would be multiple women selling scarfs, toys, even insects. However, I remember this one little boy who looked around 5 years old. You couldn’t tell because his rib cage was sticking out from his tummy. “Bong, will you buy some bird food?” I didn’t know what to say because I didn’t want bird food but wanted to help him. I looked at him and saw the hunger in his eyes. He stared right back into my eyes holding a plastic bag of seeds. I bought it for 500 riels, about 1 cent in American dollars. I fed the pigeons, and he asked for the plastic bag back so he could sell more. I was never used to children asking me for money. In the states I see older adults standing on a sidewalk with a cardboard box. It should be the dedication and hard work children in Cambodia are putting in to make a living. While teens in America take their lives for granted.

My cousins in Cambodia always dreamt of the life I have. Living in America was the one they dreamt of most. I always asked why? What's so great about America? It's expensive, the government sucks right now, and Jobs are hard. He told me, “That's exactly what I want. A job that pays for what I worked for. Teachers who actually teach. And a government like yours.” This made me realize I'm living someone's dream life. Being an American citizen is a privilege and an opportunity everyone wants.